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Accepting the part of myself that I didn’t like helped me move forward

UrveWhat I felt while talking with Norigo was that even though he struggled since he was a child, he has always come up with great ideas to continue enjoying the sport he loves: soccer.

NakamuraI was really full of complexes. I was short, not very fast, thin. I didn’t like myself for that, but accepting it helped me move forward.

UrveI think I feel the same way, that by continuing to try (to find ways) to solve problems, a path opens up for me.

NakamuraWhat was it like when you were little, Kyo?

UrveWhen I was in elementary school, I was a competitive swimmer at a small swimming club, but I was the kind of kid who would get scared just by lining up on the course with kids from a bigger swimming club at a competition. While the kids from the bigger club were chatting and relaxing with everyone, I would suddenly start shaking. You might wonder why that happened, but for me it was a valuable formative experience. It made me realize that this wasn’t going to work.

NakamuraShe later switched to synchronized swimming and won a bronze medal at the Seoul Olympics.

UrveWhen I was active, I used to look so bad that I would laugh at myself. I want to send a photo of that time to Kengo. But that’s how much I was suffering. When something doesn’t go well, at first I blame others and get angry, but when I think about it carefully, I realize that it’s not their fault at all. Then I get annoyed with myself for blaming others and running away, and I hate myself for not being able to do things properly. Because I had no confidence, I was in a state where I only had armor around other people. So I want to tell my past self that you did a good job and were great (laughs). Kengo doesn’t seem to have that kind of armor.

NakamuraThat’s not true. There were times when I was edgy too.

UrveHuh? That’s a bit surprising.

NakamuraIf you don’t have those qualities, you probably can’t survive as a professional soccer player. I hate losing and I’m strong-willed. If I had met Kyo when I was still playing, I might have had a different impression of him.

UrveThat may be the case for me too. I didn’t really understand why I shouldn’t lose to others, but I thought I absolutely couldn’t lose. Looking back, I think it was because I wanted to be recognized.

NakamuraI think it’s natural to do that when you’re in a competitive world. You want to be recognized by others, but you also want to recognize yourself. When I was active, I had the desire to live up to my own expectations.

UrveYou have to acknowledge yourself. In my case, it’s only now that I’ve been acknowledged. “Kyo-chan, you were great!” (laughs) But I really hated myself back then.

Trust is necessary to entrust your heart to someone

NakamuraFor some reason, Kyo’s words just sink into my heart.

UrveWow, I’m so happy.

NakamuraThere aren’t many people who will openly tell you all about who they are, what mistakes they made, and how they changed. So they have their own words based on their experiences, and it’s easy to understand when you listen to them, and above all, they’re trustworthy. I think there are many different types of mental coaches and mental trainers, but in my case, I tend to shy away from them when they present only a solid theoretical foundation.

UrveWhen I was still active, I also had a hard time with mental training. I hated it when people would just tell me, “Kyo, you should do it this way.”

NakamuraBut it’s interesting that Kyo ended up doing this job. He was worried that things weren’t going well during his time as a coach, so he decided to study sports psychology at a graduate school in the United States.

UrveYes. It was a time when I was breaking down. I was trying so hard that I got gastritis, but I felt like something was not right. Then I went to America and had a session with a sports psychologist, and before I knew it, I had told him everything about myself. That alone made me feel a lot lighter, my thoughts were clearer, and I was able to sort things out like, “I’ll do this from tomorrow, I’ll do that.” So, more than anything, I wanted to study this field for myself.

NakamuraThat means you are the biggest subject (in research). Kyo has been giving advice to himself, who is probably the toughest person to deal with. He convinces his strongest customers, so he’s become amazing. So I think he can sympathize with the worries of many people.

UrveIf you ask me, it’s amazing that Kengo can analyze things like this (laughs).

NakamuraThey don’t hide anything about themselves, they tell you frankly, and they have empathy for you, so I think you can entrust yourself to them in a session. It takes a lot of effort to open up to someone.

UrveAthletes entrust their bodies to people they trust, whether they are doctors or trainers. I think the same is true for mental trainers. Trust is certainly necessary to entrust your mind to someone. If there are more people like Kengo who can think things through, have several different types of ability to explain, and base their advice on scientific evidence while being non-prescriptive and tailor-made to the individual, like Kengo, in the world of sports psychologists, there may be more cases where people say, “I’ll ask this person for mental training.” Things are certainly changing in Japan little by little, but compared to the psychological and philosophical approaches in top sports in other countries, I think there is still a gap between scientific evidence and the field in Japan. For example, there are mountains of literature on sports psychology and mental training in soccer. This is because it is treated as something necessary, just like physical training. I think it would be good to pay more attention to mental training that is based on science.

NakamuraI think it’s important for instructors to have this kind of knowledge in the future. If someone like Kyo listens to you with empathy, you’ll be more likely to let your all out in a session.