Leaders need to know their own feelings and thoughts

NakamuraI first met Kyo last year when he came as a lecturer for the JFA (Japan Football Association) certified S-class license course. I knew that Takeoka Yuto, who was my junior at Kawasaki Frontale, was acquainted with Kyo through his SNS, so I said hello to him during the lecture. When I told Yuto that the lecture was very helpful, we created a LINE group of three and started exchanging various messages.

UrveI had heard a lot about Kengo-san beforehand from Yuto, who calls me “Tokyo’s mother.” He also said, “He’s someone I really respect.” I once asked Kengo-san a serious question in a LINE group, and I thought he was amazing. I had anticipated a three-level answer, but he gave me an answer that went way beyond that.

NakamuraDid that really happen?

UrveTo be honest, I can’t even remember the specifics (laughs). I do remember that we suddenly started chatting in depth on LINE. I said to him, “Kengo is amazing.”

NakamuraKyo’s talk was really interesting. During the lecture, we had time to reflect on the mental state and feelings during times when Kawasaki Frontale and the Japanese national team were winning, and conversely, during times when they were not winning. I myself have been controlling my mental state in my own way, and instead of denying the emotions that arise, I have accepted them and thought about what I should do. I listened to his lecture while checking in my mind that this is what is called “coping” (to deal with stress). I felt that it would have been even better if I had had this perspective a little more when I was still active.

UrveIt’s better for those who want to become coaches to know their own emotions and thoughts first. Not only to develop players, but also to manage their own mind and body. To that end, in the first half of the lecture, we looked back on our playing days. And in the second half, we talked about how to look at the mentality of players. Each person has a different type of motivation and a different way of communicating. It’s even more difficult because it’s not about you. That’s why it’s actually important for coaches to “worry properly.”

I’ve been a leader for three years now and I’m still thinking about what to do.

NakamuraI am currently struggling with this. As a coach, my main role now is to teach the players at the academy of my former club, Frontale, but I have my own way of thinking and methods that I have arrived at after gaining various experiences over the past 30 years. If I were to just tell teenage players, “This is how it is at this time!”, I feel that there would be too much waste.
Sometimes I think I should make them work harder, and sometimes I think I should just teach them. It’s been three years since I became a coach, and I feel like my head is constantly spinning around wondering what to do.

UrveHow are you now?

NakamuraI try to do things according to how I feel at the time and the condition of the players, without being too presumptuous about how things should be.

UrveThat happened to me too. When I retired and started working as an assistant coach for the Japanese national team, I thought it was for the best that I could throw everything I had learned during my time as an active athlete up to the Olympics at the pompon players. To me, they were like a perfect diamond, condensed into a single piece. It was like I was doing in a short period of time what I had been building up and polishing for a long time. Well, that approach turned out to be wrong after all.

NakamuraWhat did you think was wrong?

UrveSome athletes did well that way. On the other hand, some athletes were completely useless. I thought, “That athlete didn’t get the diamond, that’s no good.” I was like, “I got a medal this way, so you can get one if you do it this way.”
Unlike soccer, it’s a closed-skill sport where you don’t have to use different techniques depending on the opponent, so I felt even more strongly that I could just do this. I made a lot of mistakes like that as a coach, and that’s when I started to worry about my coaching methods, which ultimately led me to study sports psychology. So I can really understand how Kengo feels now.

NakamuraAs Kyo says, it’s hard to speak to players easily if you think that they might not fit in. As a result, I’m now trying not to make too many assumptions and to communicate with them by kicking the ball together (through play) rather than with words. I also realized that the “view” is different when you look from the outside and when you look inside. I was able to remember my own limits, and the words I use have changed.

UrveIt’s the same with synchronized swimming. When you’re in the water, you can see how their hands are moving, how their backs are moving, and so on. I’ve done that too (laughs). It’s not just the movement of the body that you can see.

NakamuraThat’s right! It’s easy to learn how the players are preparing and how they think. Well, it’s been three years since I last played, so I’ve gained some weight, and I thought it would be good for me to sweat (laughs).