It all started with the blunt column

–What made you want to ask Suzuki to write an introduction for the paperback edition of “I Loved All the Girls in My Classmate”?

nailThat’s a request from me.

SuzukiWhen I was running a column called “Japanese Uncles” on the website cakes some time ago, I featured Tsume’s debut work, “Only on Nights When I Want to Die.”

“Japanese Uncle” was a serial in which each episode would take some person or incident as subject and write whatever bad things about it they wanted, and Tsume-san would read it.

nailIn that serialization, you also criticized my friend, the writer Moegara-san, didn’t you? Moegara-san was very worried about it. He still is (laughs).

SuzukiSorry (laughs). I like older guys who are happy when I interact with them, but about 70% of them dislike me, so I was happy that Tsume-san responded. And of course, Moegara-san too.

I’m fairly popular with intellectual older men, but I don’t get along well with cultured guys my age or a little older or younger. So I thought I wasn’t his type (laughs).

nailNo, no, no (laughs). I’m not a cultured guy. I don’t read novels at all.

SuzukiIs that so? Your writing style and metaphors seem quite advanced, but does it just come naturally to you?

nailI don’t know. But when I was in elementary school, I was bullied by a kid who told me, “You write all my summer vacation diaries.” I wrote the diaries for him like a ghostwriter and got paid for it.

I asked him about his family structure, his siblings’ personalities, what day he went to the fireworks festival, and so on. This went well without the teachers finding out. I got carried away and started to sell myself from the sixth grade of elementary school, and eventually I was writing diaries for about 20 people in the whole school.

SuzukiWow! How much did you sell each one for?

nailEach book costs about 1,000 yen.

SuzukiI’ve heard of university students writing reports for others, but I’d say she was already doing it as an elementary school student… I think that sense of balance is probably something she’s born with.

Because, when I read Tsume’s book, it seems like he naturally acquired a balance that would allow him to avoid being disliked by the bullies even when he was in elementary school. At that age, most people don’t realize that there’s nothing good in stirring up people’s jealousy. When you’re a child, you have a strong desire for self-promotion and recognition, so I think it’s hard to be so considerate.

nailThat’s right. I was able to sense who I should follow even when I was in elementary school, so I didn’t get bullied that much. Even though I was the fastest runner in my class, I was a boring character so I didn’t try hard because I didn’t want to be beaten.

As I wrote in “Classmates,” even when I learned how to do a backflip in junior high school, I hid it from those around me. Even if a guy with acne showed off his ability to do a backflip, it would probably just lead to people calling him the “monster acne car” (laughs).