Figure◎Dam

◎Chen Yunyuan Picture◎Dam

Although massage treats the symptoms rather than the root cause, I have no intention of curing anything. I just long for a period of time where I don’t have to say anything. I just want to give my body to the other person, let my hands go soft, and let my head hang in the air. I feel that my pain and sorrow are touched and noticed, and my consciousness slowly enters a trance. This is the greatest satisfaction. .

This was not the case with my first massage experience over ten years ago.

Please read on…

At that time, I had finished my master’s degree, left Taipei where I lived, and returned to Tainan to serve. Although he is a substitute for the District Attorney’s Office who is not very responsible for labor work, he is part of a special task group and has to work all night from time to time. His work and rest are chaotic. When the weather gets hot, he often feels lethargic and weak. My friend P heard about it and suggested that I go for a massage and made an appointment with the massage therapist for me. My introduction to massage began when I was a child. When my dad comes home from work and watches TV, he often turns over and asks my sister and me to help him do ta̍h-ta̍h-leh. We were happy because it was fun to stand on Dad’s soft back like a balance beam. As we grew older and our hands became stronger, my father asked us to beat our backs in exchange for pocket money. The name of Yizhao is called Plundering Dragon (lia̍h-lîng). Dad’s happy expression at that time made me go to the appointment with anticipation. But when I stepped into the massage room, the middle-aged man I met for the first time asked me to take off all my clothes, which made me feel a little at a loss. A few minutes later, I was almost naked lying on the massage table, burying my face in the hole with my glasses off, unable to imagine how I would be manipulated next. Maybe it was the tightened nerves that amplified the pain. After an hour, I felt like I was in a secret interrogation room, undergoing unknown torture. After returning home, I looked sideways in the mirror and saw that my back was covered with purple-red marks. The next day P asked me how I was doing? I said it was so scary, like coming back from death.

It was several years before I dared to step into a massage parlor again. It was the spring of the third year of my doctoral program in Taipei. I was a first-time lecturer and took two elective courses in Tamsui. Because it was my first time to teach, I had to prepare from scratch. I was not confident enough to stand alone on stage for two hours, and I did not dare to concentrate on finishing the class in one day. So every Thursday and Friday, no matter how late I had to prepare for classes the night before, I had to get up early and fight the crowds of commuters for nearly an hour on the MRT across the basin to the river bank at the terminal. Then I changed to a minibus and took the bus to Fortress Po, rushing to Ten Pointed class. Maybe it was the pressure of teaching for the first time, plus I was still a doctoral student, and the required readings for the course were not light, and there were deadlines for thesis from time to time. When I finally finished my week’s work, I jumped in the car and stared blankly at Guanyin on the other side of the river. As the mountains recede, I always feel that my energy and blood are blocked and my mind is weak. When I returned to Yonghe after a certain class, I stepped into the massage parlor again. Of course not without hesitation. But at that time, I just wanted to be a piece of soulless meat for the time being, to be kneaded and beaten by others.

“There is no master now. Let me help you.” The fat middle-aged woman who greeted me cheerfully said. No need to take off your clothes this time. She just wanted me to lay down on my stomach and covered me with a blanket.

She asked me where I was feeling sore. I couldn’t quite answer, so I vaguely said waist. back. Oh, and the shoulders and neck. She said that was the upper body, and then pressed the timer to start the action. She doesn’t strike hard. Although it is quite comfortable to press on the sore area, even if I am inexperienced, I still feel that it is not very organized. Oh, forget it, at least it’s not as scary as the one in Tainan. I held my breath while she pressed hard, and then breathed out slowly when she relaxed, like a breathing exercise. After repeating it a dozen times, my heartbeat and breathing have gradually slowed down, but my consciousness is still chanting the meaning of “There is no master now.” A thirty-minute massage cost NT$300. I took part-time classes at the university and the hourly fee was NT$575. However, transportation costs, lesson preparation and commuting time must be absorbed by yourself. If fatigue recovery is added, the hidden cost is even higher. There is no master now, so who is she? The pointless approach suddenly made me pay attention again. But looking back, I am also a rookie lecturer. Every time I stand on the podium, I am afraid of being seen by the students, so we should not embarrass each other. Thirty minutes are over. She poured me tea and said she would call first next time she came to introduce me to a better chef.

Later, I went there a few more times and found out that she was the proprietress. Occasionally, I would learn a few tricks from the chef in the shop, and the female chef would come on stage if the customer requested it. Her husband, who is visually impaired, is the owner of this store. The boss has good skills, but he hates people calling him a dragon. He often loudly corrects customers and says that he is a “physiotherapist”. But he seems more interested in studying lottery tickets than getting massages. I don’t give my boss a call often. Because he said that relaxing the shoulders and neck is useless. If there are emergencies such as stiff neck, back pain, or sciatica, please ask him to take action. The chefs introduced by the landlady are uneven, and it’s a lot of luck. After meeting Master Xiao Gao, I mostly recommend him. Xiao Gao is in his forties, wears thin-rimmed glasses, and is slightly bald on the top of his head. His body is thin, but his hands are very strong. It can accurately press acupuncture points with extremely fast hand speed, like an automated machine. When necessary, he would jump on the bed and step on me with his heels, or use gorgeous tricks to bend my body.

Under Xiao Gao’s training, the shadow of the previous massage has faded, but I didn’t expect that he would even become a good friend who has been with him for more than ten years. During the massage, I gave myself two requirements: First, I can moan in a low voice, but never scream. It doesn’t matter how distorted the expression is through the curtain, but the scream is so unpleasant that everyone can hear it. Second, don’t let yourself fall asleep completely. Falling asleep means relaxing, but also losing consciousness. Isn’t the pleasure of massage dependent on consciousness? Falling asleep is a waste of your hard-earned money. In order to retain a minimum of consciousness, my mind often drifts away from the physical body and thinks about some irrelevant things, such as: What is a massage? Is it the physical therapy the boss mentioned, or is it actually a mysterious experience similar to an exorcism? I have no conclusion. But when the master uses the fingertips or the tips of elbows to apply pressure and concentrate, penetrating the surface of the muscles and exploring the pain that I don’t easily reveal, I always feel that they are like some kind of medium, through physical contact and exchange, the excessive accumulation in the customer’s body The charge is discharged out of the country. Another example: I guess masters have a mechanism to avoid occupational injuries, but how do they eliminate their own fatigue? As I turn thirty, I have to feel my physical presence. When I was young, I sang all night long and wrote papers. I fell asleep listening to the chirping of birds at dawn, and I didn’t think it was anything special. Now I need more time to recover. I asked Xiao Gao, and he said he could just go home and take a nap. Young Master Gao said he was ten years older than me. If all it took was a little sleep, there wouldn’t be a need for masseurs on the planet.

When I arrive at the store, Xiao Gao may not be there. Only then did I learn that, except for the owner and his wife, this store has no one dedicated to the store. It provides working space and intermediary with customers, and the chef will settle the accounts with the store owner. It’s no wonder that the masters who appear in the store are different every time. Even Xiao Gao showed up on his motorcycle only when the proprietress called and said there was a customer.

I have been doing massages here for two or three years. For some reason, I never thought of leaving Xiao Gao’s contact information, nor do I know where he usually does. I once flew to Tokyo to do research, and when I returned to the store a few months later, there were no one I had seen before. The man at the door asked me who I was looking for. I asked Xiao Gao if he was there? “Xiao Gao? There’s no such person here.” I passed by on my bike not long after, and half of the store had been given over to a guy selling roast duck. Later the massage parlor disappeared.

I couldn’t find Xiao Gao, so I had to find another store. The chef didn’t specify it, so I just let it happen. Try it for fifteen minutes first. If you like the technique and strength, then ask for the name. This is how we met Master F. The first three moves during the first meeting are all focused on key points, which is like a chef trying to solve a cow’s problem. I have just warmed up, and I already want to ask him his name. Master F has a thick physique, deep strength, and meticulous and methodical techniques, which can make people calm down emotionally. He can chat in Taiwanese and is from Tainan, which is a hundred points each. Since I didn’t want to lose my talent again, I asked him to contact him directly through LINE. In the meantime, he switched jobs to another store, and I followed him. After a year or two, he jumped back with him. When he wasn’t in the store, I went to his house and called on him a few times. Looking back, I actually followed him for eight full years, and I still continue to do so. Because of this, please forgive me for not revealing his name. I don’t want to schedule a massage appointment three or five days later.

The first two years of following Master F were when I was writing my doctoral thesis. Because you sit for so long, strengthening your waist and hips is of course a top priority. Stiffness in the shoulders, neck and back is also an old symptom. But he would deliberately pinch my arm and say, “I’m assuming you’ll be writing the word “Ruoji” this week.” One time, the thesis got a hold of me and my progress exploded. I wrote more than 40,000 words in three days. He squeezed it and said, “Oh, you’re so weak! You haven’t written enough, and your progress has been slowed down.” You haven’t written enough? I almost cursed. During the Ph.D. stage, the person who could best grasp my progress in real time was Master F. After all, I will respectfully report to my advisor and Emperor Wenchang after I finish a complete chapter. That would probably take three months or more. But I see Master F every two or three weeks. Although he is blind and cannot see my face clearly, over the past two years, he has been able to understand my body clearly. In the end, I wrote nearly half a million words for this thesis.

It seems to be a little fun of the masters to use physical symptoms to guess the occupation or lifestyle of the guests and make a few humorous sentences. Mr. A, an acquaintance of his junior classmate, complained that one time when he got off work from the editorial office for a massage, the master said: “Are you not even using your brain?” It made him so angry that he never went back again. After I finished my Ph.D., Master F, who had no progress to guess, had to change the subject: “Why have you lost weight recently? Have you gone to the park to exercise?” I said, there is no time to spare, there is no time. The next time he said, “How can you be like a chicken covering your head? Do you eat good food?” I heard you talk in vain, no one is fat at one moment and skinny at the other. However, the master said that I am among the top 5 in terms of strength and weight among his customers, which is probably true. Once on a business trip to Taichung, my friend R made an appointment for a massage. Wow, the hall is grand and grand, it really deserves to be in Taichung. The master’s skills are also quite good. Fifteen minutes later, I asked the master his name as usual, but he refused to reveal it. He said my body was too thick and I could save my energy to handle two more. “It would be better if you stay in Taipei and don’t come to me.” I complained to Master F. He said that the master had no professional ethics. I laughed. “Is it because Yi asked me to come to Taipei to pick you up?” He said no, “It’s a sign of recognition when guests ask for your name. Ruan is the master’s assistant.”

Masseurs work like Sisyphus. After I get on the bed and lie down, Master F will take some time to confirm the position of the muscles and bones and the condition of the muscles. He would often touch it while shouting, “Oh, how miserable, miserable, miserable, what happened.” “Isn’t it because I bow down to you that I can have a good time with you? How could a Jeremiah be so tight and so hard to burst into?” He said that he thought teaching was all about a beak, but he didn’t expect to be able to do it like this. During the eight years of massage with him, I have gone through writing PhDs, sudden death of loved ones, falling out of love, going through hell and reincarnation, teaching, getting married, and a pandemic. In the blink of an eye, I am now in my forties. There were so many things included in these major items that I didn’t necessarily want to tell him, and besides, I just wanted to relax while lying on the massage table. But through his body, maybe he felt it and shared part of it for me. He even noticed my unconscious tilt and adjusted it for me again and again. One time I went for a massage on my birthday, and the chef added an extra half hour for me. But he said that at most he would be fifty-five, and he might not be able to hold me down in a few years.

During the three years after the marriage, the disease continued to spread through the air. Massage parlors opened and closed, and for a while they simply went out of business. Even if Master F comes to schedule his shift via LINE, I don’t dare to go out. In the current pandemic, we can only take care of ourselves for the time being.

Staying at home every day is actually not easy. The course will still be held, but it will be remote. Papers, manuscripts, events and conferences never really stop. The pain in the waist and hips may be worse than before when I walked and danced outside. Not daring to go out for a massage, I turned to my wife for help. My wife felt that I was very annoyed, but she still reluctantly helped me press the button. My parents used to be like this too. Dad would lie on the bed, moaning in pain on purpose. Mom said she hated it, but she didn’t ignore Dad’s coquettishness. After the massage, she would slap Dad on the butt and say it was done.

After the lockdown was lifted, I asked my wife if she wanted to go to Master F to take care of it too? My wife said no. Her body doesn’t like to be touched by outsiders. So I sometimes help my wife. My wife praised: It turns out that you feel so good when you press the master!

I relayed it to the master. “I’ve been with you for a long time, and I always like to steal a few steps.”

“Hehe, of course!” The master was a little proud. He said come and lie on your side. Press down on the crooked hip bone.

I have been with the master for so long, but he will retire sooner or later, and I, who live here as a renter, may also move away from here one day. Although you can come back specially, it is convenient to ride a bike, take the MRT or even the high-speed rail. However, if you have a stiff neck, duck your waist and treat LINE as 119 for immediate rescue, or be able to walk home in a trance after a massage, I am afraid it is a fate that must be cherished.

In the dim silence, the opening song of Naughty Leopard suddenly sounded, and I knew it was the sound of the end of the timer. The master asked me to sit upright and put my head in my hands. He came around to support me from behind, pressing his chest and abdomen against my keel. After confirming that it was safe, he said: “Come on, take a deep breath──” and then pulled up.

I opened my eyes, and as if my soul had returned to its original position, my whole body became organized again. ●

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